You may want to have an intimate relationship with your partner but are afraid that it will worsen your back pain.
You may feel the same way about your partner. He or she might be reluctant to have an intimate relationship with you, even if it is with the best intentions. You may still see it as a rejection. These are common misunderstandings when back pain is an issue.
Inadequate communication and ignorance can lead to misinformation about sexual health and low-back pain. Honest, caring conversations, combined with psychological support, can lead to strong emotional and sexual bonds, despite low back pain.
The information provided here is not meant to be a complete guide to all aspects of sexual health. It focuses instead on helping you to remove any barriers that might have been created by low back pain.
Acute low back pain sufferers have a different outlook than chronic pain sufferers. Acute low back pain can be severe but will eventually resolve.
It is better to take a break from sexual activity for a while, as you are more likely to get the problem under control. For chronic back pain to be a success, you might need to change your sexual activities.
It’s Not All Physical
If there are no health issues, you and your partner can explore different body positions during lovemaking. Spontaneous experimentation can have little to no effect, other than a slight soreness the next day.
In these circumstances, the sexual peak may be the mark of a successful interaction. As we all know, healthy sexual relationships go beyond physical lovemaking.
The complex interplay of physical and emotional factors is not limited to sexual intercourse. Partnerships can be maintained by showing concern for each other and by expressing romantic and affectionate feelings in a nonsexual way.
There are many options when it comes to sexuality. You have the option to decide that modern society is too obsessed with sex. You can conclude that it is better to not worry about your sexual needs when your back hurts. It’s possible to live without sex. So why bother?
Do not give up. A healthy sex lifestyle can have positive effects on your back and overall health. You also get a good workout and burn calories while having sex. The appearance of your skin will improve when you have sex.
Endorphins are released during orgasm. These chemicals act as natural analgesics in the body. Endorphins promote relaxation and well-being. It’s worth it!
A short rest for acute low back pain may be possible. Your back spasms and pain will improve over time. Sexual movements won’t cause more pain. If you are concerned about your discomfort, you should not perform these sexual movements.
If you do not feel any discomfort, then it is possible to have sex with your partner. If pain is triggered by simple movements of your back, you might need to wait a while. If your pain is severe, you will need to plan your sexual activities more carefully.
Talk Is A Sexy Word
In 1998, Jackson Rainer, Ph.D., published an article in Arthritis Today. He stated that talk is his favorite four-letter word for intercourse. Dr. Rainer also suggests that romantic interactions may occur when we are fully clothed at the kitchen table.
The idea is that communication at all levels can help build a loving, supportive relationship. When there are physical limitations, this is even more crucial. Talking with your partner is essential to helping you understand the situation.
Take this example:
- What is causing your pain?
- What activities are not painful?
- When is the best time to be intimate?
You and your partner might also need to be reassured about your desire for each other. These issues should not be discussed until you have fallen in love. Instead, plan ahead to make it easy and enjoyable.
Remember the romance? Your relationship will be strengthened by non-physical interactions. These can range from compliments on your partner’s appearance, appreciation for their emotional support, or simple acts of love that demonstrate the depth of your feelings.
Comfortable positions are best found during sex. You can recreate positions that you find comfortable during daily activities.
If a chair’s back support is excellent, you can use it for sexual intercourse. Find the position that is most comfortable for your spine. Here are some guidelines to help reduce the strain on your back.
- Avoid positions that raise the low back curve.
- This puts pressure on the facet joints.
- Do not lie flat on your stomach.
- This will prevent you from bending forward at your hips and keeping your legs straight.
- Causes stretching of the sciatic nerves and hamstring muscles.
- Limit the weight that your partner places on you to the minimum.
- To support your weight, place your hands on the mattress.
- This is not the place for men to be man-on-top.
- This position increases lumbar lordosis and stretches the low back muscles.
- Any movement of the pelvis is for women at the bottom.
- This will mean that the spine must be extended, and there will be more pain.
- A partner who isn’t in pain should provide the most motion.
- Flatter your back with a slight upward tilt to the pelvis (pelvic tilt).
It is also important to consider the type of motion. Rapid thrusts can cause discomfort. Slower, more gradual movements will be less painful.
I advise partners to share what positions and stimulation are most stimulating for each other and to establish signals between them that recognize the pain associated with certain movements.
The spoon position provides the best safety for both of you. Strategically placed pillows on the bed can provide the right support for the head, pelvis, and thighs.
With a pelvic tilt, both partners should have their hips and knees bent with a pelvic tilt. Flat backs protect the facet joints. The sciatic nerves and psoas muscle are relieved of tension by the bent hips and knees. Both partners can provide the pelvic movement for genital stimulation.
You can use the straddle position with your partner looking towards you or away. The most comfortable position should be determined by the partner who has back pain. This position allows the weight of your partner to be on your knees or on the bed.
An all-fours position allows for sexual intercourse with a partner who has back pain. The arms can support the body’s weight. This position allows for a flexed, slow-throwing posture. A solid foundation, such as a floor or bed, is better for a woman who has back pain.
The pelvis can be supported by the support of the woman’s torso and both the women’s knees on the ground. This will prevent any movement that could cause painful, involuntary muscle contractions.
Another option is a rocking chair with no arms, which can also provide back support and pelvic motion. As the pain decreases, you can make variations on these themes.
Medication and Libido
Low back pain does not necessarily mean that you have sexual problems. Erectile dysfunction is not usually caused by abnormalities in the spine. However, sometimes poor performance can be caused by treatments for low back pain.
Antidepressant medications used for depression and chronic pain can lead to sexual dysfunction, including decreased orgasm in both men and women.
Vaginal dryness can be caused by antidepressants, which can cause pain during intercourse. While opioid medications may reduce pain, they can also blunt sexual desire and response. Muscle relaxants could have a similar effect.
Excessive alcohol consumption is known to reduce libido. The challenge when taking medication is to balance a high enough dose to control pain and a low enough dose to prevent toxicity (including sexual impairment).
Fatigue can hinder sexual performance and make it difficult for women to have a good time. To eliminate fatigue, the old saying “plan ahead” is a good idea. You must be well-rested if you want to have a successful sexual encounter.
Sixty Years of Sexual Satisfaction
Tom, sixty years old, suffered from low back pain due to osteoarthritis. His pain was better after six months, but not enough to allow him to have a happy sexual relationship with his wife. Particularly bothersome was his missionary status.
Although he had done flexion exercises in his earlier treatment, he stopped doing them several months before my visit. For his pain, he was on ketoprofen in sustained-release form. Before he engages in sexual activity, I suggested that he take a second dose of ketoprofen, or acetaminophen, before he starts I also suggested other sexual positions. The combination worked, and 18 months later, his low back pain and sexual function are both improving.
Tom’s example shows that the timing of medications can have a positive impact on sexual performance. Take your pain medication at least two to four hours before you plan to engage in sexual activity. This will ensure adequate analgesia.
You and your partner can discuss other methods if climax is not possible through intercourse. It may be difficult to discuss if you have cultural, spiritual, or social barriers to oral sexual stimulation.
However, I recommend that you do so because back pain can limit your ability to engage in sexual intercourse. Self-stimulation is also an option for those who have a high level of tension in their sex organs, which prevents them from having orgasms by other means. These methods can be used to reduce muscle contraction and increase endorphin levels.
Aerobic exercise can improve sexual satisfaction and cardiovascular function. Kegel exercises for your pelvis can increase sexual pleasure for women, particularly because they strengthen the pelvic floor muscles that support the bladder, uterus, and rectum.
These muscles contract around the penis when they have intercourse. Kegel exercises may also have some benefits for men.
Premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction may be improved. An increase in the strength of the pelvic floor can improve sexual control and enhance pleasure.
While urinating, you can easily do Kegel exercises. Slowly contract your pelvic floor muscles to stop urine flow. Ten seconds of contraction, then release and repeat several times. You can contract the same muscles while sitting, standing, or lying down. Do between 25 and 50 contractions per day.
Back Surgery & Sexual Function
The anterior or posterior approach can be used to fuse the lumbar spine. The posterior approach does not involve the removal of any autonomic nerves that are located in the anterior part of the lumbar spine.
These nerves are more likely to be dislodged if an anterior approach is used. These nerves are responsible for sexual arousal and male ejaculation. Research has shown that fusion surgery can reduce pain. The reduction of pain has been shown to improve sexual quality.
The benefits of pain reduction were not the same in all surgical groups. Four times as many patients who had posterior fusions experienced sensory problems or disturbed ejaculation as those who had anterior fusions.
A mere 20% of women who had either type of fusion experienced a decrease in genital sensation or disturbed orgasm. These results suggest that men should consider posterior fusion to reduce their risk of sexual dysfunction. One in five women will experience a decline in sexual function after either procedure.
You may need to seek help from a psychiatrist or sex therapist if you have persistent sexual problems beyond back pain.
Sometimes back pain can be used to limit sexual relationships. Back pain can also be used to complicate a relationship that is already in trouble. It is not enough to simply change your sexual position. A solution requires better communication. You can seek additional support if you need it, but don’t let your relationship fall apart.
Healthy and open sexual relationships are a key part of maintaining a healthy back. This does not mean that you should forgo human contact because of back pain.
Intimacy extends beyond sexual intercourse. If your partner is suffering from pain, you can use other methods of sexual arousal to help them. It is worth it.