The Complete Guide To Premature Ejaculation (Part 1/5 – Quiz)
You probably know what it’s like to sometimes ejaculate earlier than your partner would prefer. It’s frustrating. It makes you feel embarrassed and self-conscious, and it can make you worry about her. Before you reach for premature ejaculation pills, read this article.
What if you ejaculate consistently too quickly? Intercourse can last only a few seconds, sometimes just a minute. Imagine if you felt ashamed, anxious, and stressed by the idea of sex. What if there was a better way?
Premature ejaculation (PE), the most common form of sexual dysfunction that a man can experience, is also the most common. Experts estimate that as many as 30% of men suffer from premature ejaculation. But, you wouldn’t be able to tell by talking to your friends.
It’s difficult to talk about premature sexual ejaculation. Many men won’t admit they have a sexual problem, particularly one as sensitive and painful as PE. Premature ejaculation is often viewed as a problem that only horny teens have (just look at American Pie and Fast Times at Ridgemont High) or selfish jerks (Lorena Robertbitt famously stated after cutting off her husband’s penis, “He always wants an orgasm, and doesn’t wait to see me.”
PE is something that can happen to anyone; it’s true. It doesn’t really matter what age you are, how experienced you are, or how knowledgeable you are about sex. Trust me, I have experienced PE.
Do You Have Premature Ejaculation?
- Do you find it difficult to control your ejaculation?
- Do you ejaculate within one minute of having intercourse, or upon penetration?
- You have tried many methods to treat PE, only to be disappointed.
- Are you unhappy with your sex life and sex relationships?
- Are you worried about pleasing your partner or ejaculating too quickly?
- Is it possible for foreplay to lead to ejaculation? When you are playing with a woman, are you unable to control your penis touch?
- Do you try to cover it if you ejaculate too early?
- Avoid intimate situations, as they can lead to PE. So why bother?
- Are you frustrated at your inability to have sex with a woman?
- Are you having problems with your relationships with women because of premature ejaculation?
You could be suffering from chronic PE if you answered “yes” to all of these questions.
What Is Premature Ejaculation?
Premature ejaculation, or PE, is one of the most common sexual problems that a man can experience. However, it is also one of the most misunderstood. Most of us have ejaculated in intercourse more often than we want, as I mentioned previously. It can be frustrating, but it’s not PE. However, if you ejaculate consistently too quickly, you might have PE.
Understanding the workings of PE is key to understanding how you and your body react to it.
Although you might think that ejaculation, the release of seminal fluid, is restricted to your testicles and penis, it’s not. In fact, your nervous system plays a key role.
Sympathetic nervous system responses are responsible for some parts of sexual arousal, while sympathetic is responsible for other aspects. Your body’s stress-related functions, such as “fight or flight,” are controlled by your sympathetic nervous system.
This allows your caveman ancestors to escape or fight dangerous predators. These days, it’s more common to rely on the fight or flight response for a meeting with your boss. The parasympathetic nervous system controls your “rest-and-digest” response, which includes lower blood pressure, slower heartbeats, and other functions that relate to relaxation.
When you are sexually stimulated, this is when your penis touches, rubs, or has sex. Your brain sends signals to your lower spinal cord. Your parasympathetic nervous system is responsible for erections.
Your parasympathetic nervous system controls the rhythmic contraction of the muscles of your prostate gland, seminal veins (both of which make seminal fluid), and vas deferens (the tube connecting the testicles and the urethra) and contracts rhythmically.
This causes semen to move through your body and into the glands and bladder. Ejaculation can produce an orgasm, which is a feeling of pleasure.
Premature ejaculation is when the process occurs earlier than you or your partner would prefer. The medical community has been divided on how to define PE. The International Society for Sexual Medicine (ISSM), which has the most accepted definition, says that PE can be defined as “a male sexual dysfunction that occurs before or almost immediately after vaginal penetration.” The inability to postpone ejaculation for all or nearly all vaginal penetrations. There are also negative personal consequences, such as distress, bother, and frustration.
It’s easy to see that the history of premature and misunderstood ejaculation has led to a lot of confusion. Also, there is shame and reluctance for many men to declare that they have PE. Women are more willing to pretend to be having an affair in order to save their partners from the embarrassment and humiliation of dealing with premature and/or failed ejaculation.
What Does Premature Ejaculation Mean For You?
While there are disagreements, the main issue with chronic, lifelong, PE is:
- How long do you stay before you get an orgasm?
- You can delay ejaculation.
- Personal consequences can be very damaging.
Let’s take a look at each issue one by one.
You don’t last long. Do you think you are experiencing PE if you find it difficult to keep going for long periods of time? Don’t think about what you have seen or heard in the locker room. Most men can only have intercourse for two to five minutes before they have to ejaculate. Men with PE can have intercourse for only a few minutes before they stop.
How can we find out this? Researchers devised a system called Intravaginal ejaculatory latency time (IELT) to measure how long a man can have sexual intercourse before he ejaculates. Researchers have discovered that premature ejaculation can last anywhere from 15 to 60 seconds, although different researchers may have come up with different results.
As a sex therapist, my experience has shown me that many men with PE never make it to penetration. They adore frottage (heavy sex), oral stimulation, and any manual stimulation.
These activities are often considered inappropriate by most men with premature sexual awakening. They have difficulty enjoying all the possibilities of sexual pleasure. It can also be difficult for them to explain why they are unable to get sexual stimulation. This can leave their female partners feeling less engaged and confused.
You cannot hold back. For guys suffering from premature ejaculation, the old “think about baseball” trick won’t work. Regardless of whether or not they wish to, they are unable to control or delay their ejaculation at or shortly after penetration.
All men reach a point in sex where they are unable to control or delay ejaculatory inevitability. All men have an “ejaculatory threshold,” which is the maximum amount of stimulation they can receive before reaching the “point of no return.” Men with PE reach their “point of ejaculatory inevitable” much sooner.
Women on the other side don’t feel the ejaculatory inevitable–they can lose an orgasm as it happens. It makes sense that women want to get their men as hot as possible, even though they are not familiar with the concepts of ejaculatory impossibility and ejaculatory threshold.
This is a bad approach for men suffering from premature ejaculation. A woman who has had PE can ask a man to wait for her orgasm. This is one of the most damaging things she can do to him. As you will see, stress caused by being told to wait is likely to increase ejaculatory inevitability.
This can make it difficult for a woman to have intercourse. Each woman’s ability to orgasm is unique, so you can’t determine if you have premature ejaculation by how long it takes for her to get there. However, premature ejaculation is a condition in which a man can’t satisfy a woman for long enough to have vaginal intercourse. Many men suffering from PE worry about their sexual health.
Premature ejaculation affects your life. You don’t need me to say that these first two issues, not being able to last long enough and being unable to hold back, do not inspire sexual confidence. They can cause a host of negative emotions in premature ejaculation men: anger and frustration with themselves, insecurity about their sex lives, anxiety, shame, and concern about their relationship.
Premature ejaculation guides tend to focus on “mindbody” techniques. However, such attempts to distract yourself or mentally hold back are likely to increase anxiety and trigger a series of physiological reactions that increase the rate of arousal.
Psychology studies show that the harder you try to avoid thinking about something, the more likely it is that you will think about it. Then you worry about the fact that you are not fulfilling the purpose of the exercise.
These techniques can be rebranded as “meditative exercises” to promote “sensual experiences” rather than sexual ones. They may not only have no scientific basis, but they could actually worsen the situation if they are used as the foundation of premature ejaculationer’s efforts to solve the problem.
Men with premature ejaculation fear that their partners will be sexually lazy or selfish. Some women don’t understand the term “premature” and may even think so. Ironically, premature ejaculation men are often very sensitive lovers who are unable to put their intentions into action.
If you are too focused on delaying your orgasm, you may find it hard to have sex and avoid relationships with women. Women often don’t realize their partner has premature ejaculation and believe that something is wrong in the relationship.
Some women wonder why their partners are depressed, distant, or avoid sex. Premature ejaculation can cause you to withdraw from male friendships as well as affect the woman in your life.
This can leave you feeling isolated and like you don’t have anyone to talk to about it. Premature ejaculation can cause you to feel sexually immature and out of control, and you may find it easy to get angry at yourself if you don’t understand why. I will show you later how to deal with these emotions and make you feel more confident.
Which Type Of PE Are You?
As I have mentioned, these three main issues are lifelong, chronic, premature ejaculation. This means that it has been a problem since your first sexual encounter and can even happen while you are masturbating.
Premature ejaculation has also been seen in other men. Situational PE is also known. It occurs after previous relationships that have been healthy. Premature ejaculation can result from a variety of factors, including relationship or psychological issues.
It may also be caused by physical conditions such as erectile dysfunction or prostate problems. This guide is intended for men who have suffered from premature ejaculation their entire lives. However, it may also be useful for people who have acquired prematurity. These questions will help you determine what type of PE you have.
- Are you having problems with premature ejaculation?
- Is premature ejaculation possible in all sexual situations, such as intercourse, oral stimulation, or manual stimulation, with different partners (including during masturbation alone)?
- Are you healthy and free from any conditions that could lead to PE, such as spinal cord injury, prostate infection, multiple sclerosis, or other conditions?
- Are you taking tranquilizers, opiates, or ephedrine/pseudoephedrine (found in cold medicines and decongestants)?
You are likely to have lifelong, chronic premature ejaculation if you answered “yes” to the first three questions and “no” to the fourth. You have probably developed PE if you answered “no” or “yes” to the first and fourth questions.
What Causes Premature Ejaculation?
Premature ejaculation was not always a problem. In fact, it was something that people used to strive for. The superior male who could fertilize a woman faster than the other men was the premature ejaculator, which would have been hundreds of thousands of years ago.
He was able to have more sex and father more children. This allowed him to win the “sperm wars” and earn his place at the head of his tribe.
His family also benefited from it. Cavemen and women didn’t just retire to luxurious honeymoon suites to have sex. Most sex was done outdoors, where predators could easily turn them into tasty snacks.
The added risk led to anxiety, and the man had to ejaculate earlier. Men who could finish faster were valued because they were exposed to less danger. It is likely that primitive times didn’t have any awareness of female orgasms, so it wasn’t a problem for them to come quickly. Although we’ve all heard, “survival to the fittest,” it was really about the survival of those who were the fastest.
Experts believe that this trait was passed down from generation-to-generation, giving premature ejaculation, as we call it, an evolutionary advantage. Although most people would consider it an evolutionary disadvantage, some experts believe it is a benefit.
However, today’s premature ejaculationers may also have inherited the sensitivity of our forefathers to environmental stressors like loud noises. The culprit in this instance is more likely to be an ejaculating horn than a growling, saber-toothed tiger. New fathers have told me that hearing their baby cry in the other room while they are having sex almost always triggers ejaculation.
Premature ejaculation has become less of an evolutionary problem than a flaw thanks to our increased knowledge of female sexual pleasure and our ability to safely couple privately. Why is PE still a problem for some men?
According to some cultures, PE can be caused by anything from “weak blood” and “loose nerves” to cold weather or stress. It sounds absurd, right? It’s not easy to determine the true causes of premature ejaculation.
There have been many causes of premature ejaculation over the years. While some of these theories may hold some truth, they do not appear to be the sole reason for PE. Let’s look at some of these more popular theories.
Psychological issues Premature ejaculation has been viewed historically as an emotional problem. Its roots are in mental problems such as guilt, anxiety, depression, and anxiety. These concerns may be present in many men who have suffered from PE for a long time. However, these issues are not the causes of premature ejaculation.
Masturbation behaviors As a teenager, you may have been rushing to get in front of someone. Worst-case scenario: it’s your mother. Experts once suggested that racing to the finish line could lead to PE.
This would make it more likely to ejaculate rapidly. We now know that while this can worsen or reinforce prematurity, it doesn’t necessarily cause it. Research shows that men masturbating is a common behavior, regardless of whether they are suffering from premature ejaculation. We all use the same level and intensity of stimulation.
However, it does seem that visual stimulation is different—pornography, for example. Research shows that men who add visual stimulation to their physical stimulation have lower ejaculatory control, which increases the risk of PE. Premature ejaculation is more common when there’s a combination of psychogenic (visual/mental stimulation) and reflex (physical stimulation).
This is a significant discovery as many treatments for premature ejaculation focus on meditation-based awareness training during masturbation. While it may work if you have only one penis, most masturbating men use porn or visual stimulation.
Awareness training won’t work if you add that type of psychogenic stimulation. You are less likely to be successful in having real sex with your partner. This article will show you how to use visual stimulation to make your sex last longer.
Inexperience It’s not true that PE is only a problem for young men, as I said earlier. Some people believe that premature ejaculation makes men less sexually aware and more sexually active. However, this is also false.
Studies show that masturbating men who have prematurely ejaculated use the same stimulation levels as those without. Men with and without PE have the same technique and self-awareness.
greater penile sensitivity. Men with premature ejaculation might have higher penis sensitivity, which could explain why they ejaculate so quickly. Research supports this theory. It has been proven that men with premature, chronic, long-term ejaculation have higher penile sensitivities than those without. Creams, sprays, and other products to numb their penis appear to be quite effective.
However, evidence suggests that PE can make men’s penises more sensitive. A study of 83 men was published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine on June 6, 2009. Half of them had premature ejaculation for their entire lives.
The other half didn’t have any ejaculatory conditions. To determine their level of sensitivity, the researchers used a tool to apply hot, cold, or vibration-type sensations to men’s penises. Five such tests revealed that PE caused a decrease in penile sensitivity.
This is not to suggest that these men wouldn’t benefit from numbing drugs, but we cannot say that premature ejaculation is caused by heightened penile sensitivities.
The Most Recent Thoughts
Experts now believe that PE can be compared to certain birth defects. It’s something you are born with and likely have at least one relative. Researchers also discovered links between premature ejaculation and changes in the nervous system.
Like Father, Like Child
Premature ejaculation is not something that most people want to talk about with their dads. Research is showing that PE is an evolutionary consequence of winning the “sperm battles.”
Research on twins shows an increase in premature ejaculation. One Dutch study also found that premature ejaculation was more common in men who had at least one first-degree relative (such as a father, brother, or sister) with the condition.
It is possible that PE may have a genetic basis. This means that you could inherit your risk, like your risk of developing heart disease or other types of cancer.
Based On The Brain
Did you remember when I described the basics of ejaculation? Your nervous system is crucial in this process. Researchers are finding that premature ejaculation is more likely to be due to neurological factors than anything else.
In particular, it is possible that PE may be caused by changes in the levels of two neurotransmitters. These are chemical messengers that your nervous system depends on to regulate many bodily functions.
The brain cells that control mood, sleep, memory, and sexual desire are influenced by the neurotransmitter serotonin. Serotonin levels are lower in those with mood disorders such as depression.
Studies also showed that serotonin levels were lower in prematurely ejaculated men. Antidepressants such as Prozac, Zoloft, and Celexa are known for increasing levels of serotonin. Simply put, higher levels of serotonin can make you happier and more active.
SSRI users know that higher levels of serotonin can increase ejaculatory thresholds and slow down orgasmic activity. This can be a problem for some men, but it could also be a benefit for those with premature ejaculation. I’ll explain why later. Although you can increase your serotonin levels naturally by exercising, men with PE may need to take drugs.
Dopamine is also needed to ensure optimal sexual function. Do you remember that feeling of being giddy and floating on air when you fall in love? Dopamine is the reason. Dopamine is also released by your body when you are sexually stimulated, having sex, or masturbating.
From an evolutionary perspective, dopamine can be thought of as your reward for reproducing. Dopamine can be addictive, and you should consider the fact that other drugs, such as alcohol or cocaine, can also trigger your body to release this neurotransmitter.
Too much good quality is not always a good idea. Ejaculation can be triggered by high levels of dopamine, which can lower the ejaculatory threshold. Premature ejaculation can cause the brains of men to have lower levels of serotonin and higher levels of dopamine, making them more vulnerable to premature ejaculation. As I will explain, the best way to control PE is to increase serotonin and lower dopamine during sexual activity.
Overdrive Of The Nervous System
Premature ejaculation can make it difficult for men to perform ejaculation. Research has shown that prematurely ejaculated men have a higher heart rate than those without it. Although it may sound unrelated, this difference could be a sign of premature ejaculation.
This is because PE causes men to shift faster from their parasympathetic nervous system to their sympathetic nervous system than those without. The sympathetic nervous system is responsible for an increased heart rate.
This system regulates our fight-or-flight reaction to stressors. These stressors could include anxiety, the presence in another room, loud noises outside of the bedroom, or the excitement of sex.
Premature ejaculation makes men more susceptible to rapid ejaculation by allowing them to shift to the sympathetic nervous system.
These sympathetic responses may be triggered by their anxiety and nervousness about premature ejaculation or being in a sexual environment. As you will see, one of the keys to developing ejaculatory control is being able to manage and lower your heartbeat.
- The Complete Guide To Premature Ejaculation (Part 1/5 – Quiz)
- The Complete Guide To Premature Ejaculation (Part 2/5 – Common Myths)
- The Complete Guide To Premature Ejaculation (Part 3/5 – Understanding Arousal)
- The Complete Guide To Premature Ejaculation (Part 4/5 – Treatment Options)
- The Complete Guide To Premature Ejaculation (Part 5/5 – Putting It All Together)
- Intravaginal Ejaculation Latency Time – Wikipedia. (2022, January 31). Intravaginal ejaculation latency time – Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intravaginal_ejaculation_latency_time.
- Home. (2022, February 4). ISSM. https://www.issm.info/.
- @. (n.d.). Premature Ejaculation: Causes & Treatment. Cleveland Clinic. https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/15627-premature-ejaculation.
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